Featured, Pregnancy, Time to Rant Baby, Baby Names, MIL

The Spectacular Baby Name Flip Out

After a nervous appointment at the hospital, Mia and her husband Fred found out the sex of their baby.  This discovery took longer than they’d expected due to the cord being positioned directly between baby’s legs.

“Would you be open to having a private scan if we can’t get baby to move?” the sonographer asked them.

Mia shifted uncomfortably; she was desperate to find out.  All of the baby’s other checks had come back normal and this was the last thing they were waiting to hear.  Fred had been saying they were having a girl for weeks and was eager to find out if he was right, and Mia just wanted to start buying baby clothes that were less gender neutral.

“Maybe if you walk around for a few minutes, do a few jumping jacks… that might help?”

It didn’t actually, but upon a second check, the sonographer announced they were having a little girl.  Aside from the excitement that washed over Mia and Fred, they had another feeling… relief.  Despite months of debate, they hadn’t been able to settle on a boy’s name.  Finally, they were winning at something.

It was spitting of rain as Mia and Fred left the hospital and waited outside the front entrance for their taxi home.

“Can we agree to keep the name secret?” Fred asked Mia.  “We’ll never be able to keep the gender to ourselves, I’m surprised my mum hasn’t already texted you asking what we’re having (she had), but we can keep the name private right?”

“Sure,” Mia responded.  She knew the name they’d chosen wasn’t exactly traditional and hours of late night Googling had all but confirmed that most people won’t question a baby’s name once it is assigned to a living, breathing, pooping human.

As you can probably tell from the title of this post, things didn’t exactly go to plan.

Two weeks after the scan, Mia was visited by Fred’s mum.  The visit went well but Fred had to deal with a barrage of questions regarding the baby’s name.  He held firm but Mia could tell he was frustrated.  Mia had also been receiving tons of messages since the baby’s sex was revealed, all containing name suggestions.

“Why aren’t we allowed to name our own child?” Mia asked Fred, fed up.

“You know what she’s like,” he replied.

The name suggestion texts and messages continued until Fred could take it no longer.  “Just tell her we have a name,” he said, completely over it.  So Mia did.  Luckily she did this via text message (Mia doesn’t like talking on the phone), so she was able to retain a copy of the messages to remind herself of exactly what happened once the shock wore off, and share them with you.

MIL: If you have a name picked out, can you just let me know?  I don’t want to have to keep calling her she for another five months.

Mia: Okay.  We’ve decided to call her Willow Fawn.

MIL: P**s off.  Tell me.  I can’t wait til she’s born to find out.

Mia: I’m not joking, that’s her name.  Willow is a name we’ve had picked out for ages, and we both like it.  Fawn is after my Nanna.

MIL: What?!

Mia: Willow.  We’ve decided to call her Willow.  We’ve had the name picked out for months, both of us like it.

MIL: *face of despair emoji that Mia can’t find out how to insert into WordPress*

Mia: This is why we didn’t want to tell you before she was here.  We had a feeling you would hate it.

MIL: You’re right!

Fred was taking a nap while this conversation happened, and Mia had no idea how to respond.  She was in shock, but also quite amused that the MIL hated the name so much.  Just then Mia’s SIL (who is sane unlike her mother) sent her a message:

Cath: So, my mum’s just messaged me…

Mia: Lol, that didn’t take long.

Cath: Don’t say anything but she just texted me the name and told me not to say anything.  She said she hates it, but I like it.  Hope she realises she’s being an ass.

Mia: (slightly annoyed that her baby’s name is being shared before she’s had a chance to tell literally anyone else) Thanks!  It’s not even weird.  Has she told you what her response was?

*Mia sends Cath screenshots of the conversation*

Cath: How rude!  Willow is cute, and we’re all named after our grandparents so I don’t understand what her issue is with the middle name.  WTF is her problem?

Mia: I don’t even know what to say.  I’m still in shock.

Cath: She’s just texted me again saying she’s really sad you didn’t take her views into account.  She wants you to call her Primrose or Bluebell.

Mia: Hahahahahahahaha, not happening.  Plus, how are those names any more traditional than Willow?

Cath: She’s old, just ignore her.  Plenty of grandparents don’t like their grandkids names.  She hated my daughter’s when she first heard it.  Said it sounded like *something really offensive that Mia refuses to write online*

Mia: Oh my god, that’s terrible!  I’m honestly not bothered that she doesn’t like it, I’m just shocked by how blunt she is.

Cath: I can be blunt too but damn, I agree.  I like it though.  The more I say it, the more I like it <3

Cath: She’s just texted me now to say she likes it now that it’s sunk in a bit.  Glad the old lady is over it!

And that my friends, is why Mia recommends you keep your baby’s name private unless you’re completely confident your family won’t flip out spectacularly.

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