For the first time ever, I am going on holiday on my own. Yes, in a few short weeks, I’m heading off to Wales for a quiet no-frills break in a holiday cottage by the sea. It will be just me and my dog. I’m looking forward to a week of no work, no hassle, and plenty of long walks on the beach.
Last year, me, my ex, my dad, and my two younger kids went to Scotland. It was a mixed bag. By that point, I knew my relationship with the ex was over. Planning imaginative ways to murder him on the long drive up there was a bit of a giveaway. By the time we headed home on the hottest day of the year in his shitty car without air-conditioning, I was ready to push him under the wheels of the nearest coach full of Chinese tourists. Less than a month later, I had done the deed (no, he isn’t buried under the patio!).
This year will be a welcome change. It will also be a lot less expensive without four extra adults to feed! Since I am going to rural Wales and the nearest pub is half a mile away, at the top of a 1:3 hill, I don’t anticipate any holiday romance. Unless I fall deeply in lust with a rugged hill farmer in the Valleys, the only romance I’ll be having is a with a bottle of Merlot. But it’s got me thinking. If I didn’t have a dog with separation anxiety, I might be tempted to hot-foot it to sunnier climes, doing my very own version of Shirley Valentine. A holiday romance is a tempting thought!
Love’s Young Dream
Not that I have had much success in that department in the past. I went to Florence when I was 20 and fell hopelessly in lust with a blonde German guy who worked on the reception at a basement nightclub. He was polite enough to chat with me for an hour, but eventually, I gave up and left him in peace. It wasn’t until the following morning that I realised I’d lost my purse and all my money. Either I dropped it in the club, or someone stole it from my bag. It was a sorry end to a rubbish evening!
The only other time I came close to a holiday romance was being chatted up by a Turkish waiter when the kids and I went to Marmaris with my parents. He was cute, but my eldest was a stroppy 15-year-old at the time and firmly of the opinion that mothers should behave like nuns. So, I pretended I had no clue he was interested and worked on my tan instead.
Despite my lack of success in the holiday romance department, all is not lost.
Love in a Hot Climate
A blue-sky holiday is something to look forward to no matter what age you are: sun, sea, sand, and (hopefully) a week or two spent doing very little apart from working on your suntan. But for ladies and men of an eligible age, a red-hot holiday romance can turn a great holiday into a truly memorable one, so if you are available and looking for love, read my tips on how to enjoy a hot holiday romance!
Pick the right location – there is little point in looking forward to the prospect of a holiday romance if you have booked a bargain break that involves trekking through the Andes with only a few smelly goats for company. Ideally, choose a traditional holiday spot – anywhere with hot sun and idyllic beaches will do – but if you have a penchant for dark Latino types, you can always be more specific.
Make sure you look your best before you jump on to a plane – holiday romances may be in short supply if your roots are showing, you haven’t shaved your legs since 1989, and your one and only bikini was designed for a string bean!
Leave Your Angst at Home
Be open for a holiday romance – it may sound obvious, but if you take all your emotional baggage on holiday with you, you are not going to be receptive to the advances of any potential lovers. Most holiday romances arise from a bit of flirting at the local tapas bar or some sexy banter on the beach, but if you are too busy pining over the heartless bastard who dumped you six months ago, you probably won’t notice the dishy waiter giving you the eye when he brings you another jug of Sangria.
Go Easy on the Shots
And speaking of alcohol, go easy on it, unless you prefer to have the kind of holiday romance you can’t remember the next day. Alcohol may be a great social lubricant, particularly if you are the shy type, but getting totally hammered every night of your holiday is not the best way to enjoy a meaningful holiday romance. Be careful that your drink isn’t spiked, either.
Never put your personal safety on the line – drinking too much leaves you vulnerable to more than a bad hangover. Be careful not to cast your common sense aside along with your inhibitions.
Make sure you enjoy a safe holiday romance – just because the Turkish waiter you pulled on day three of your holiday says he loves you already, it doesn’t mean you are immune to the scourge of nasty diseases or an unwanted pregnancy. Unless you want to take home more than a nice suntan, use protection each and every time you enjoy some holiday lovin’.
What Happens Abroad, Stays Abroad
Never make the mistake of believing that a great holiday romance is the start of a meaningful relationship – it does sometimes happen and we’ve all read warm and fluffy stories online featuring the love-struck divorcee who found true love ever after with a Spanish bartender half her age, but 99% of the time what worked on holiday fails to translate once you are back home again. However, if your holiday romance does turn out to be love’s young dream, please let us know!